Anton LaVey defines a psychic vampire as a person who drains others of their energy. Everyone has dealt with psychic vampires at one point or another, and every one knows how badly it sucks. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with psychic vampires that can make the experience suck a little less.
How to Recognize a Psychic Vampire
The first step to properly dealing with a psychic vampire is to identify her as such. There are a few warning signs and behaviors you can watch for to determine whether someone is a psychic vampire:
How frequently she cycles through friends
The usual story psychic vampires give for their inability to maintain adult relationships is that they’re picky about who they befriend. Another story I’ve had fed to me was that everyone she got close to betrayed her or tried to use her. While everyone on occasion displays poor judgment in character, if this seems to be a frequent occurrence, it’s possible you’re dealing with a psychic vampire. Look at the common denominator in those previous friendships. More likely than not, it’s her.
The thought of dealing with her gives you a feeling of dread
If you’re not looking forward to dealing with a person, there’s probably a reason for that. To be fair, not wanting to deal with a person doesn’t automatically make that person a psychic vampire, but it can be a good indication if you can’t think of any reason why you wouldn’t want to deal with her.
You feel exhausted after dealing with her
This is because you’re putting more energy into the relationship than you’re getting back. All relationships are a give-and-take, and if she’s the only one benefiting from the relationship, it may be time to reconsider why you’re even involved with her.
Types of Psychic Vampires
Not every psychic vampire drains your energy in the same way. Here are several types of psychic vampires you may encounter.
The Control Freak
The control freak, as the name suggests, likes to control your every action. These psychic vampires can be incredibly bossy. They often like to monitor your activities, be it work or play time, and will give unsolicited advice if they don’t like the way you’re doing things.
The Drama Queen
These queens will constantly proclaim that they hate drama, all the while constantly being followed by it. Even the slightest inconvenience is treated as though their world as we know it is ending and nothing will ever be the same again.
As far as the victim is concerned, she is never the author of her own misfortune. There is always someone else to blame. She is constantly complaining, while at the same time never doing anything to deal with her problems.
The Nice Guy
Most women know who I mean, because most women have encountered a nice guy at some point in their lives. Nice guys are typically strangers, often to be found lurking in the dark corners of dating apps, who give out unsolicited compliments concerning a woman’s attractiveness in the hopes of getting sex or nudes. They don’t take rejection well, often rescinding their compliments and general ass-kissing in favor of throwing out personal attacks. They like to proclaim how nice they are in comparison to other men, in spite of their creepy and downright frightening behavior.
The joker’s favorite line is, “Calm down, I was only joking.” Jokers like to push boundaries, most often through a twisted sense of humor. Their jokes aren’t so much funny as they are poorly veiled personal attacks. They pick out your worst insecurities, and then they run with them. A jab about your weight here, a racist comment there, until you’ve reached the limit of your patience with them. They ignore requests to stop and the information that they’re not being funny. Once they’ve got you to an emotional state and you’ve predictably lashed out, they turn around and tell you you’re the one being unreasonable and overemotional.
How to Protect Yourself Against Psychic Vampires
The best way to protect yourself against a psychic vampire is to avoid that bitch at all costs, but sometimes they are unavoidable. It’s not exactly a good idea to avoid your boss even if he is a psychic vampire, and if you’ve got family members who are psychic vampires, at some point you’ll have to deal with them. Even if you try to avoid them, either they will find you on their own, or some well-meaning aunt will try to get you back in contact with your otherwise estranged cousins. In the case of those unavoidable vampiric relationships, here are some things you can do to minimize the damage.
Trust your instincts
If something seems off about someone, don’t ignore that feeling. If you can, try and identify why you feel uncomfortable around that person.
Trust the warnings of others
Sometimes gossip is just gossip, but not all the time. If people are trying to tell you your new friend is bad news, do your research and find out why.
Establish clear boundaries, as well as repercussions for overstepping those boundaries
Establishing boundaries is important in any relationship, but it’s especially important when a psychic vampire is trying to feed on you. Let her know where the boundaries lie, and that if she crosses them you’ll have to cut her out.
Do some self-care
It’s essential to take care of yourself after dealing with a psychic vampire. Recharge your energy by taking a relaxing bath, read a well-loved book, whatever works best to rejuvenate yourself. It may also be necessary to take part in some cathartic activity. Purge yourself of all the negative energy that’s been building up by taking a run or having a little rant in your diary, or, if you’re of the mind, perform a Satanic ritual and send that negative energy back whence it came.